Committed relationships definitely have their merits, but if you’re more into casual dating, you already know that they’re not for everyone. Keeping things casual and unattached allows you to enjoy a little intimate companionship from time to time, but not at the expense of your personal freedom and autonomy. Sometimes you’re probably not even all that interested in the “intimate” part; y ou just plain want to scratch that familiar itch and get yourself properly laid on a Saturday night.
However, knowing you’d like to get laid more often is one thing. Actually making it happen is another. That said, if you’d like to be having better quality virtual sex and more of it, you’ve come to the right place! The following tips will make the whole process a lot simpler and easier.
1. Just be genuine
We’ve heard it from everyone – from our mothers to that self-help guru your best friend swears by – “Just be yourself.” Don’t just brush it off as trite advice that doesn’t apply to real life though. It’s actually a good rule of thumb to follow when it comes to almost everything worth doing; getting laid included.
Naturally, it makes sense to want to impress someone you’re hoping to get down and dirty with at some point, but resist the urge to pretend to be something you’re not. Most people are pretty good at spotting a fake, so that act you’re putting on is a lot more obvious than you think it is. Even more importantly, obvious fakes don’t get laid. People that are effortlessly cool because that’s just who they are, do.
2. Be willing to spend money
If you’re less the type to hit the club in search of a one night stand to bring home and more the type to ask a hottie on a date in hopes that it will pay off later, this one’s for you. Even if the date is little more than a pretext, it’s still important to put some effort into things. In other words, don’t be a cheapskate.
Don’t even think about zipping through the McDonald’s drive-thru. At least take the person to a mid-priced sit-down restaurant and a movie afterward. If this date was your idea, pay their way. If the other person insists on paying their own way after you offer, that’s fine, but never invite someone out expecting them to split the bill. Even if your date is the independent sort, obvious cheapness is the very furthest thing from an aphrodisiac.
3. Don’t be a wimp, but don’t be a dick either
Speaking of getting to know someone in the hopes that it will eventually get you laid, you definitely want to stay out of the friend zone. That means understanding what kind of behavior lands someone there in the first place. Although no two people are exactly alike, being “too nice” is usually at least part of the equation.
Try to think back to the last time you felt sexually attracted to someone because of how “nice” they were. Can’t remember? Well, neither can that person you’re hoping to take to bed tonight. People you want to screw are mysterious and exciting. They don’t act like doormats, apologize for every little thing, or bend over backwards doing favours for other people.
You don’t want to make the opposite mistake either though. Lots of folks assume that if being “too nice” gets you friend-zoned, being a complete dick must get you laid a lot, and that’s just not true. No one wants to go to bed with someone mean and horrible any more than they do a doormat. They do want to sleep with confident, self-assured people who clearly know what they want and don’t feel like they have to pander to other people to get it.
4. Be good-looking
Like it or not, it’s a simple fact that better-looking people get laid a lot more often. Also, I have both good news and bad news for you on that front. The bad news is that unless you’re unusually gifted in the genetics department, Calvin Klein probably isn’t beating down your door begging you to model for them. The good news is no one’s so unfortunate-looking they can’t aspire to clean up well.
Most of us have at least one or two features that people compliment us on all the time. Whatever those features are for you, play them way up. Also, take as much pride as possible in how you present yourself. Get in shape and stay that way. Dress well. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, take good care of your hair and skin. Stay clean and make sure you smell good, as well as groom yourself well. People who take obvious pride in how they look are way more likely to get laid than those who don’t.
5. Don’t be desperate or come across that way
We all know that one cool cat who can get laid whenever they feel like it. Now take a moment to consider how that person behaves around people they’re attracted to. Do they drool and act completely desperate, or do they act nonchalant, almost giving the impression they couldn’t care less whether or not they get laid? It’s almost definitely the latter, and never the former.
So where’s that line between being genuine about your desire to get with someone, and putting on an actual act? It’s at the point where you start being uncomfortably obvious about the fact that you’re horny. Don’t grind up against anyone at the club or embarrass yourself making heavy-handed sexual innuendos. Just chill out. Enjoy the moment and have fun talking to people. Let things unfold naturally if they’re going that way, but don’t force the issue.
6. Stop living in total fear of rejection
At this point, I’ve touched on how intuitive people can be when it comes to sensing fakery or desperation. Now it’s time to discuss how well they can sense fear. If you’re still channeling your Junior High self and thinking of rejection as the most devastating thing that could happen to a person, you probably also have trouble getting laid as often as you’d like.
Granted, no one likes hearing a “no” when they really want to hear a “yes”, but it’s not the big deal some people make it out to be. It’s rarely anything personal, and it’s happened to all of us at one time or another. Just be prepared for it and don’t let it deflate you if it happens to you.
7. Be upfront when it comes to your intentions
It’s fine to have getting laid in mind as your ultimate goal when it comes to xxx chatting people up, getting their digits, or asking them out on dates. Pretending you’re looking for something you’re not because you’re hoping it will get you into someone’s pants isn’t as fine.
We’re living in the 21st century, after all. No one assumes every person that asks them out is ultimately looking for marriage and children. It’s socially acceptable to be a casual dater and to not be interested in serious commitment, so there’s no real reason to play games. (Also, word eventually gets around about who’s a player and who’s not, so keep that in mind.)
Just be honest about what you’re looking for and what you’re not. Definitely flirt and make it clear you’re up for sex if things happen to unfold that way, but don’t lie and say you’re interested in something serious if you’re not. There are more people out there that want the same thing you do than you might think.
8. Think outside the box
If you’re not getting laid as often as you like, it makes sense to change a few things up about how you do things. I’m not just talking about the way you look, or the way you initiate some conversation with a hottie you’ve got your eye on either. You might also want to consider branching out in terms of how and where you meet people to have fun with as well.
If you’re solely interested in hot, no-strings-attached sex at this point in your life, consider skipping the bar and the club in favor of adult cybersex dating. Cybersex adult dating takes the worry over other people’s possible expectations out of the equation altogether. It also allows busy, focused people to get straight to the point in a way they might not be able to do at any other time. No small talk to make and no hoops to navigate! You just find someone you like, and get right down to business with some sexy chat or a casual hook-up.
In other words, getting laid is a lot easier than you might think it is. In fact, it’s largely about knowing where to look for partners and embracing the process for everything that it is. Start exploring the possibilities today! Your next epic hook-up could be right around the corner.